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Name: Megan
Birthday: 8/31/1982
Interests: Knitting, Anthing medical, EMS, Childbirth, Midwifery, Handbells, Horses, Cooking, and whatever happens to hit my fancy (especially sleeping!).
Expertise: NSVD :-)
Occupation: Nanny/Lifeguard/EMT/Midwife
Industry: Medical/Caring
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
4/24/2006
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| What a day...no wonder I'm not sleeping. Today I found out how easy and smooth it is to use a cane. I really pictured it as awkward and slow, but it just isn't. I commented that if it wasn't for the cane making an obvious statement to the world that I am blind, it would be less obvious to anyone now because I can get around better and more confidently. Nearly ironic.
I also found out that if I still go on my cruise this November I will either have a guide dog by then or no longer be legally blind (hopefully). I started the application process today and they told me it usually takes about three months to get your dog, but I can/will wait until after my surgery to see how it affects my vision.
My plan is to work on my mobility and orientation so that I am good at that. It will both give me something to focus on, make my current life easier, prepare me for the use of a guide dog, and if I get my vision back, give me a greater appreciation for those with visual impairments. (Why is this so hard??)
I plan to go to the children's museum and butterfly garden today to practice. It is a familiar place to me (which is nice), but it has a lot of various textures on the floor, stairs and ramps...which will be interesting and good for practicing.
My friend is visiting me this week from Quebec...I just wish this week would last longer! It has been so nice to have her around....I will really miss her when she goes home on Thursday.
I hate feeling lonely in the middle of the night.
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| I choose to trust and He will help me not to doubt.
He is with me, loves me, and will NEVER leave me.
Yet, it is okay to let other ppl get close and trust them too. They may be human, but that doesn't make it so I have to pull away when I feel insecure. God is my sufficiency, but it is not wrong to trust others too. | | |
| Drink from the well that will not run dry.
That's been my "chewing" topic today. It needs to be my focus. It's where my strength comes from. It's why I can be. It's what I'm filled with.
The lies it counters are silly in the quake of this truth. Friends may tire, seasons change, families be imperfect, but the well does not run dry. It is full and overflowing with living water. It ALONE can quench my thirst.
I remember crying while driving my car last summer shortly after VBS week as I had been struggling with some things and decided to start singing VBS songs to distract myself. I began singing "Spring Up O Well" which the "monsters" had learned (at VBS) and we had sung together. As I was singing the first verse outloud, the words gripped me and I started crying. I then sang them again with opened spiritual eyes from the sing-song words I had learned as a child...
I've got a river of life flowing out of ME
It's made the lame to walk
It's made the blind to see
It opens prison doors
It sets captives FREE
I have THAT River of Life flowing out of me!!!
Spring up, o Well
within MY soul!
Spring up o Well
and make ME whole!
Spring up o Well
and give to me,
that LIFE abundantly!
This is what I desire...that Spring springing up in me and flowing out. That Spring meeting my needs and satisfying my "thirst".
Lord, spring up in me. May I look to YOU when I feel empty and dry and be FLOODED with Your Love!
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| Thinking is a common trend of my comments, I know. It's also what often gets me into trouble, but then again, it's where ideas originate. So, I will continue to muse (although I doubt it will be amusing ). I had an excellent conversation with my littlest brother the other day that has had me thinking since. I also had a (surprisingly) nice conversation with my dad this morning. I went to a party for the Bailey twins last night that triggered a massive migraine that kept me home this morning (which was really too bad...we have a Pastor from Kenya speaking today that I had really wanted to hear. My migraine was pretty much dissipated (I have no idea how to spell that) by quarter to 12, and now I think it's back to about "normal" for me again. I'm tired and I pretty much hate drugs(or rather feeling drugged). I'm ready to get back to normal brain operation and get on with whatever God has for me (is that an impatient comment or what?) I feel like I've been doing a (all praise to Jesus) pretty good job ignoring lies and resting in God, but sometimes I wonder if I'm missing something and just "resting" isn't even then point and I need to get out and figure out what it is I'm supposed to be learning from all of this so I can LEARN it and then get on. IDK. I just feel so tired. The best thing I did this last week was clean 3 bathrooms. I haven't figured out yet whether that's good ('cause I'm doing something) or just really pathetic. How do you know? What should I be doing? I have found myself talking more and more to Jesus constantly. I wouldn't necessarily say that I'm "praying" all the time, but I just feel like I have a relatively constant running dialogue with Him. I think this has been key to recognizing so many lies of the enemy this week and just rejecting them before even dwelling on them at ALL. Many Scriptures have been coming to mind and with most thoughts now I think of what Betsy said about questioning its source. It has really changed my thinking although, it's not really a new concept, just reapplied actively, I guess. Hmm. Well...the bottom line is that God is good. All the time. I guess that's all that really matters, isn't it? | | |
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